Do You Hear the Wedding Bells?

Mom and I have officially overloaded ourselves this weekend. We bought my half my dress on Friday. We put it on layaway and paid half. It's not cheap. It is gorgeous, let me tell you! I can't put pictures up here because Daniel reads this and he doesn't even wanna know anything about it.

On Sunday, we went to the Bridal Show hosted by the Knot at Marketplace Center in Dallas. We weren't sure what we were getting ourselves into, but oh my! It was like a bridal expo! We tasted so much cake I think I gained about 30 pounds just from the buttercream and fudge. There were thousands of people and so many booths! Photography, caterers, limo services, carriage rides, registries, DJs, videography, invitations, gowns, chocolate fountains, banks, real estate agencies, they were ALL there!!! We went at two, and stumbled out in a bridal daze at 5:30. I have a huge bag full of business cards, flyers, price guides, menues, pens, and miscellaneous other items. I was so tired, I just plain knocked out at a family friends' house that we always go to for Sunday dinner.

Why so tired? Oh, because I now have two, count 'em Two, jobs. On top of my Barnes and Noble gig, I am also doing morning receptionist duties at a CPA firm in Dallas Monday through Friday. I wake up at 6, go to work, come home for two hours (during which I usually nap), and head back out to Barnes and Noble until midnight or later. That puts me with 5 hours of sleep once I get home, settled, and bedded. So yeah, Emma is a tired girl these days. But you do what you must to survive. The extra money is hopefully gonna help subsidize this dang wedding.

And my nephew is firmly on his way into the world. Miss Kayla is approaching 22 weeks. They're taking it all in stride, while mom and I kinda hyperventilate about how this whole two home, one kid thing is gonna work. Not to mention the added financial strain of a dad not working and an aunt and gra... (still up in the air about the name) funding the kid here. But little Carter Thomas (for now) will be loved, and that's what counts, right? Right!

Oh! And one last thing- please keep Daniel and his family in his prayers. His grandfather is going home to be with Jesus soon, at least that's what the doctors are saying.

Prayer

Recently I have been very convicted about how I live my prayer life. I don't know if it's the new year or whether it's the fact that I have so much on my plate now, or whether God's just waving a red flag in front of my face, but I now feel more of an urge to pray at random times and when I'm in the middle of something.



To be more transparent than I usually like to be, I'm stating for the record that my prayer life has never been a strong one. I just never became good at normal, ritual prayers or daily wake-up or good night prayers. I'm a sporadic pray-er.



I want to ask you to help me pray for peace of my own mind. I don't want to spoil my own wedding by being too up tight and freaked out over it. I know that where God wills, there's a way. And praise Jesus, marrying Daniel is one of those things I have prayed fervently about. I believe with all my heart that it's God's will for us to wed. Now I just need to remember that if God wants it to happen, it will. It won't matter if we are flat broke or millionaires.



Now, if only I could tattoo that on myself.



Book Suggestion: "Esther" by Charles Swindoll

This is an excellent character study in a series done by Swindoll. He covers several key biblical people including: Job, David, and Jesus. Esther is a must-read for women. I am on my third read through, and have actually made it my bible study for the new year. If you ever need a model for courage, Esther is your girl. Just read her story in the bible to catch a glimpse of this girl's grit. Read Swindoll's character analysis to get the fleshed out reality of what she went through and how she can be a role-model to every Christian woman today.

Wedding anxiety

Eloping is sounding better and better with every new outrageously expensive wedding bit I look at. Geez, all I want is to marry the man I love. That's it. I don't want to put on some big elaborate show and entertain my guests for hours. I'm not feeding you anything but cake, so just get over that right now. Heck, I might not even have favors. It's just so FREAKING expensive!! Seriously, people in the wedding business should be down right ashamed of themselves. Especially photographers. I mean really. When you charge upwards of eight hundred to a thousand, if not two, I really don't know how you sleep at night. You're robbing me blind here!! To make it worse, my parents and his parents are going to try to pay for it. Well, neither one have much money at all. When you add in that my family is going to be helping support my brother in his paternal endeavors, I really would rather not put this extra strain on them. His mom is a single woman of somewhat meager means. Neither Daniel or I have much money. Okay, we have somewhere around 5 dollars... maybe.

I seriously start to panic when I even think about it. This is not the wonderful wedding experience I dreamed of and heard about from friends. I just get literally nauseated thinking about it. I don't want to do it anymore. I just want to marry him. That's all. That's it.

Why not elope, you ask? Well, my friends would be hurt(they've informed me of this much), my family would be upset (a few of them have also informed me of this), and I can only imagine how his mom is going to feel what with Daniel being her only son.

Oh hello rock, I didn't see you there.

And oh my, what is that? Could it be a hard place. I think so!!

*is stuck*